I am poor. I am in debt. I will never have any money [8 Oct 2006]

October 10, 2013 § Leave a comment

I am poor. I am in debt. I will never have any money. I will never be able to support a woman like —–. I can barely support myself without my mother’s help. “A shadow had fallen over her that was to deepen steadily through the next four or five years”. “Tom was only beginning to experience the disappointments, the rejections, the isolation that make up the lives of artists such as Hart Crane”. “But as Tom would discover, the blue devils were beyond his control. They had fastened on him and would appear and reappear again in his journals and reveries. As a symptom of schizophrenia, ‘seeing’ angels and devils has often been regarded as a characteristic of a poetic genius of a tortured and compulsive kind. Tennessee said, ‘Of that demon, I think invariably of Hart Crane,at the very centre of whose life it exploded, and destroyed.’ ….In the 19th century, the painter and journalist John James Audubon cited blue devils—‘les diables bleu’—writing, ‘I have had the horrors all around me…I walk the streets it is true, but neither hear nor see anything but my fancies dancing about through the atmosphere like so many winged Imps resembling in shapes, colour, and capers all the beau ideal of the Infernal regions!'”

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You are currently reading I am poor. I am in debt. I will never have any money [8 Oct 2006] at Diary of Samuel Peeps.

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