I love writing so much. I must make it my all. Classical music and tropical ferns. Great opera singers. I will find my home.
Some ruined citadel, overgrown with ferns & trees & vines & creepers; but I have secured some rooms, and some levels, and some corridors. And heated them and furnished them. Now I live in them like Dr Pozzi at Home, with my books and my writing and my music, surrounded by miles and miles of forest. Sometimes someone will come to stay with me for a few weeks, like Elena Prokina, or Sylvia. It will be my Tribschen, my Castle Duino.
I feel bitter and sombre—but this is actually how I love to feel. I am never more content than when I am feeling this way. It is when I can think most clearly, and most purely. In my head, already I live in this citadel. Already Elena Prokina and Sylvia—the two most beautiful women I have ever met—are staying with me. They save me from my addictions and my pathetic weaknesses (that bring me such great momentary pleasure but such lasting despair). They are my addictions and my pathetic weaknesses.
Some ruined citadel, overgrown with ferns & trees & vines & creepers; but I have secured some rooms, and some levels, and some corridors. And heated them and furnished them. Now I live in them like Dr Pozzi at Home, with my books and my writing and my music, surrounded by miles and miles of forest. Sometimes someone will come to stay with me for a few weeks, like Elena Prokina, or Sylvia. It will be my Tribschen, my Castle Duino.
I feel bitter and sombre—but this is actually how I love to feel. I am never more content than when I am feeling this way. It is when I can think most clearly, and most purely. In my head, already I live in this citadel. Already Elena Prokina and Sylvia—the two most beautiful women I have ever met—are staying with me. They save me from my addictions and my pathetic weaknesses (that bring me such great momentary pleasure but such lasting despair). They are my addictions and my pathetic weaknesses.
The Diary of Samuel Peeps (2005) 